What to do with phone boxes

When did you last use a public pay phone

What should we do with these?

Around Ireland we have a lot of phone boxes that are pretty much redundant, now that we all have at least three mobile phones to hand. The old concrete boxes are a sure sign you are in Ireland.

Maybe we could remove the phone entirely and replace it with vending machines, for all sorts of handy stuff, like mini screw drivers, or lucky dip boxes with plastic crap inside.

I’d hate to see them removed from the landscape, in fact have a look at this lovely short film about phone boxes, by TrueFilmsTV

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Window Shopping – point and buy system for shop windows and High St stores

HMVNow that HMV has joined the ranks of failed bricks and mortar retailers, with the blame laid at Amazon’s door (not as simple as that unfortunately) This proposed system will allow passers by to buy whatever they see in the window. Maybe not just the window either.

Let’s imagine that a shop has no sales counter whatsoever, but it has staff on the floor, and you wander around its utterly random product selection with your phone in your hand and you click the buy button and its sent immediately to your address.

A retailer could then keep the shopfloor full of the bargains they offer which are not available from their website, but at almost cost price, which would keep people coming to the High St once again for the ultimate bargains, and also support the brand and some jobs too. An ultimate browsing experience, without having to queue to pay.

Maybe the likes of Amazon could open their first 3D retail experience in such a way.

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Scanning for your doppleganger Facebook app

Photographer Francois Brunelle, has been taking pictures of people who are not related to each other for years. Fair play to him. Could we create a new facebook app that scans the world for faces that resemble your own and then allows you to become friends and test if your life has been similar to the doppleganger who’s been selected for you?

I know its probably done, and I’ve found this one https://www.facebook.com/pages/Find-Your-Doppelganger-For-Free-No-Download/305047853598

but I’m not sure it goes through all the facial markers which will match mine using some fancy facial recognition algorithim.

happy christmas

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Helping local Carol Singers get paid for the piped music in shops

Instead of making the Muzak business owners richer than they deserve, (OK they have just come out of Bankruptcy proceedings, but still) my idea here is to gather the local choir to record some out of copyright christmas carols and then the supermarket and or the local shops replay the recordings and pay the “royalties” they would normally pay to the money grubbing Rights and Recording artistes who snuff too much fucking snow up their snouts anyway at this time of year.

We wish you a merry Christmas and jingle bells for example on a constant loop being sung by the game gang from the local choir and the money going to a local charity is a nicer way to think of what happens to the money spent for background shite we’re forced to listen to anyway trying to get us into the spending I mean christmas cheer.

Happy Christmas all!

Bill

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Wet Concrete Advertising Company – Permanent Ads in concrete

The temptation is always there, even in this balding 42 year old to scrawl “B-Heart G-True-4-EVER!!!!” on a freshly poured area of concrete the “Men” have so carefully patted, scraped, shaped and fashioned. They may even have placed warning signs and bollards all around this fresh grey canvass, to prevent such morons from defacing their artwork. But when concrete is so permanent when it sets, and impressions made on it are also so permanent, why not sell space on the concrete before it sets?

How would this advertising business look like and what objections would there be? I presume the local council would have to give consent. We’d need a way to make the “impression machine” probably in the form of a stencil, perhaps 3d printing could come in here again and print off the exact design words etc for the impressing ad for “Bill’s Sex Toy Shop, just around the corner.” Then we’d need to find an advertisor. Then we’d need an in with concrete pouring companies. Easy!

Maybe we could coax the council to allow us to impress Public Safety Messages like

“To avoid bumping into other people availing of this pavement please avoid reading any messages impressed on this pavement.”

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Giving up the inventing to become a shouty chef – Grey Gloop TV Show

Bill Gets Mouthy in the Kitchen at Ritchy’s in Clonakilty

Bills new TV show Grey Gloop

Yes its official I’ve decided to jack it all in and become a chef, with my own TV show of course. It would be a show where I go around the country looking into peoples fridges and cook whatever slop I find. The Shows called “Grey Gloop” Because no matter what I find, a saddle of rabbit, a nice fresh Guinea Fowl, a pidgeon perhaps, when I cook it up, it always ends up as Grey Gloop.

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The HipClip – a Hip carrying baby plastic slip on unit

I took my youngfella out the other day, and forgot his buggy, all I was doing was looking to buy some milk. He’s still struggling with the whole bipedalatry at the moment so instead of letting him crawl around the road and into the shop, I had to carry him, on my hip. He’s a good hefty 14 month old lump. A classical crawler, and that does him fine thank you very much, as walking is too much of a bother for him at the moment.

So having this wriggling pup on your hip trying to carry a crate of cans, milk and other assorted consumables is a challenge and plays havoc with my right arm. I believe that I am certainly in the market for some typ of clip on to your hip plastic seat that isnt a hippy style curtain. No this is a fairly discreet plastic shaped thing and he justs sits on it and his weight is more evenly distributed to my hips, and not my arm.

The HipClip is what I’d call it.

So what I’d like to know is how to fasten it to myself? Could it be like some type of belt with a bicycle seat attached to it? Or a moulded plastic thing with a flap seat that hooks on to the belt loops of my jeans? That would work, but it would precude any skirt wearers.

I’ll get back to you on the design I think.

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